


And Now, the Weather

by modelmagic



Category: Trolls (2016)
Genre: Gen, I Tried, background Branch/Poppy, branch is very defensive of poppy, cloud guy is [spoilers], takes place after S1 episode "cloudy with a chance of hugs"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-15 16:40:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18673498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/modelmagic/pseuds/modelmagic
Summary: After Hug Day, Branch has a question for Cloud Guy. He doesn't like the response he gets.





	And Now, the Weather

Branch needed to ask him.

Normally, Branch would try to not even initiate eye contact with Cloud Guy, as would any sane being— which apparently weren’t that many... Or any at all, other than than himself—

_But._

He had a nightmare. A disgusting nightmare in which Cloud Guy... _Cloud. Guy._ As in, THAT Cloud Guy, in this nightmare, became king of the trolls. _‘Cloud Guy became king of the trolls’_ is a sentence that should never be spoken into existence and has AT LEAST twenty errors in it. Most obvious being that he wasn’t even a troll. Hello?

Worst part of all, it happened because he married Poppy. Now the whole thing had COUNTLESS things wrong with it.

Well, of course it made sense that he would become king if he married Poppy. But just... ew.

Branch nearly gagged recalling this even if it didn’t actually happen and would never ever happen, ever. 

Poppy wouldn’t marry Cloud Guy. She would never...

She wouldn’t, right? ...No, she wouldn’t. Surely she only likes him as a friend. Not even as a _best_ friend, but as a friend, just as she’s everyone else’s friend.

...Cloud Guy, though. What about him? He sure made a spectacle out of Hug Day and got all close with Poppy in the blink of an eye. Branch had to set at least one thing straight, and that would be difficult with Cloud Guy— he’s _Cloud Guy_. Getting a direct answer out of him was impossible, but this was going to be a simple ‘yes or no’ question. Literally, so easy. He couldn’t possibly make this harder than it needed to be.

And Cloud Guy was right over there, just laying in the grass. In a perfect world, he’d be dead, but of course, he can’t be killed... Or could he? No, this wasn’t the time for that. Yet.

As Branch walked closer towards the cloud, his shadow blocked the sun above Cloud Guy, who grinned at seeing his ‘best buddy’ there.

“Long time no see, chickadee.”

“We saw each other yesterday.”

Cloud Guy continued smiling. “Sheesh, it’s just a greeting.”

Once knowing that Cloud Guy wasn’t going to stand up or even sit up, Branch decided to sit next to him in order to say what he needed to. This wasn’t exactly something he wanted to yell out, even if that’s what talking to him usually ended in. In case it did happen, at least they weren’t in the middle of the village or anything. “Speaking of yesterday...”

“Dope, amirite?” Cloud Guy pulled out a handful of grass beside him. “Your diary offers a plethora material to work with, _buuut_ seeing as Hug Day was right around the corner, it all...” He threw the pieces of grass in the air, most flying away, but some falling on him. “Fell into place.”

This conversation was already annoying. “ _Material to work with?!”_

“Of course. A true romantic, such as yourself, pours their little heart out without even knowing it’s happening,” As Cloud Guy sat up, he pinched Branch’s cheek and spoke in a mocking tone: “Makes my job so easy peasyyy.”

“Your JOB?!” Branch smacked the cloud’s arm off— literally off. As in, removed from his cloud body, and Cloud Guy didn’t respond in the slightest, other than making a replacement arm suddenly appear. Was he going to leave his severed arm on the ground or...?

Branch quickly shook his head in order to get back to his topic. “You CAN’T just— Oh, whatever.” The less time spent talking to this guy, the better. “Listen, about yesterday... That whole... thing happened. The Hug Day thing.”

Cloud Guy pointed at him, correcting him. “Hug Day _fiasco_. Don’t undersell my craft, my man.”

_How was he so annoying?!_ A groan escaped Branch’s throat as he attempted to not let his anger get the best of him so quickly, which wasn’t working considering he had already raised his voice _and_ slapped Cloud Guy less than a minute ago.

“Okay, let me just ask you this and be done with it! You don’t... Uh.” He briefly considered that asking this might be a mistake. “You don’t _seriously_ have a crush on Poppy, do you?”

And then it was like the world was muted.

Cloud Guy looked at him blankly, the length of this silence making the troll feel horrified.

Did he shift his eyes slightly? What’s that supposed to mean? That had to do with lying or something, right? And he seemed to be blinking at a suspiciously fast rate. Or maybe it was the wind making him do that. Was Branch just imagining things? Did Cloud Guy really have a crush on Poppy? _What was taking him so long to answer?_

 

And then the cloud fell into a fit of laughter.

Branch scooted back on instinct; a cloud with bad breath laughing right in his face? No thanks. It didn’t take long for other feelings to set in, though.

Like, on one hand, Cloud Guy found it ridiculous and that’s good. That’s _right_. It’s _right_ that he knows that him and Poppy together, romantically, is _wrong_.

Wrong because-... Because he wouldn’t treat her well? No, they unfortunately got along fine... She didn’t seem to notice how he was actually the worst, and THAT’S what made this bad... Right? Right.

_Anyway._

Okay, on one hand, Cloud Guy laughed at the idea of being with Poppy. He... He laughed at it.

“That’s-“ Cloud Guy wiped a tear from his eye as he calmed down from his amusement. “Wow. You’re a real wild card sometimes. Lemme tell ya: I’ve been tossin’ around the idea of getting into stand-up comedy, but _you_ ,” he poked Branch’s chest. “You, my guy, should consider it too.”

 

Cloud Guy not having a crush on Poppy in the slightest? Confirmed.

And yet, Branch felt like he was about to pop a blood vessel. “What’s wrong with having a crush on her?!” He blurted out.                                              

With his usual grin, Cloud Guy stared at him silently. 

“That’s right. There’s _nothing_ wrong with liking her and I don’t know who you think you are to be laughing like that!”

As Branch shifted into defense mode, Cloud Guy’s expression didn’t change much, other than looking off to the side and raising his eyebrows. Still, he did not say a word.

Branch continued. “Are you even listening to me?! _What_ is wrong with liking her? First off, she—“

Cloud Guy stood up and began walking away.

Branch followed him closely, but not too closely; Cloud Guy smelled like wet garbage, he looked like it too, and that’s also what he was on the inside as well.  “Oh, so you just insult someone and walk away? I bet you’re _real_ proud of that! You think that you’re so charming when you’re not.”

Branch failed to notice the lack of sunlight due to the increase in trees in the direction they were headed. “Do you have _any_ idea of _everything_ that Poppy has done for us? Oh wait, you don’t. Because you’re not a troll, so it doesn’t involve you, so it doesn’t matter to you.”

And so, Branch kept talking.

“-Like, did you even notice that I’m a different color than when we first met?! I honestly wouldn’t put it past you, but anyway that was thanks to Poppy-“

And talking.

“-She’s just so... _horrifyingly_ brave, especially when it comes to anything having to do with her friends. It takes a _lot_ to shake off her confidence, and that’s both a blessing and a curse because she should REALLY rethink her schemes sometimes, I swear-“

And talking.

“-You ever noticed that little gap in her smile? It’s so... perfect. I-I mean like, she comes off as naturally goofy without even trying. Also, let me mention that she smells like the inside of a piñata. This isn’t something I exactly like, nor is it exactly all that perfect for her, I mean you’d think she smells like strawberries or flowers or- I dunno, frosting? _Cupcakes?_ Nope, piñata.”

And talking.

“-And if we’re bringing up her singing, we have to bring up her dancing because she may just be a contortionist. Like, trolls are wild and then there’s _Poppy_ -wild. Or at least I get more back pain by just looking at her-“

And talking.

“She makes so many invitations and scrapbooks and you KNOW that if she has to give one to someone, she’ll make it entirely personalized, even she’s met them, like, once. What kind of person takes the time to remember highly specific details about everyone and still be sane?! Well, not Poppy if we count that last part, but she’s close enough. Not to mention she’s constantly working with scissors when she does those. _SCISSORS_. Who knows how many times she must’ve got cut with those... Or _papercuts._ Why does she keep telling me to scrapbook, that stuff is way more dangerous than we think. And yet, she loves doing this because she’s Poppy.”

And talking and talking and talking.

Cloud Guy, still quiet, reached into a nearby bush to grab a few berries. Eating a few as he continued to walk, he silently offered some to Branch.

Branch slapped them out of his hand, once again making Cloud Guy’s arm come off. This time it moved on its own and caught up to him, returning into place. “You can’t try to poison me to shut me up, Cloud Guy. It’s not working this time!” Cloud Guy shrugged off his offer being rejected.

Cloud Guy stopped in his tracks, turning around to face Branch with his usual calm smile. Branch took this as a sign to stop walking as well.

“Wh-“ Branch looked around his surroundings, not realizing just how much time they’ve been in the forest. “Why are we here?”

“You done?”

“I’m... I’m-“ The troll glared at him. “ _No_ , I’m not done and, _in fact_ , I’ve only just _begun_ to talk about Poppy and-“

“I bat for the other team, lazerbeam.”

“How she-“ Branch’s mouth quickly turned into a small pout, his eyes widening in confusion. “Huh?”

“Light in the loafers.”

No response.

Cloud Guy continued. “I taste the rainbow.”

Branch blinked, still feeling lost although he knew exactly what Cloud Guy was getting at. “...What?” He wasn’t looking for an answer, it was more like how he’d describe his current thought process.

“I’m gay.” Cloud Guy smiled widely. “I thought I made it obvious, but I picked up on you not gettin’ what I’m puttin’ out, so that was what made my Hug Day plans sail smoothly. I just thought I’d have extra fun with that today, and fun I sure did have.”

Branch would try his best to forget anything involving Cloud Guy. But of course, yesterday’s events were burned into his brain, but they played a bit differently now, and the one that stood out to him the most was...

_Poppy._

...Poppy not minding his fake flirting at all... She didn’t even see it as flirting and she wasn’t even part of his scheme _because she already knew he was gay._

Of course she’d know! She knows everything about all of her friends!

From that point alone, it- It _was_ kind of obvious.

Cloud Guy stared as the troll went on a face journey. “Makes sense, doesn’t it, buddy-bro?”

“Huh...” He looked at the cloud up and down, and he had to admit: “It does... Wait, you’re kidding me. Is- Is that why you were laughing?! Because I said what I said and... you’re just gay?”

“Us gays find things funny too, y’know.”

“ _No_ , I-“ Branch groaned as he rolled his eyes. “I _meant_ that you were laughing because I thought you’d be into a girl and you’re not.”

“Yep.”

“And this has nothing to do with Poppy specifically.”

“Yep.”

“ _You couldn’t have let me know sooner?!”_ Branch gestured towards him in ways that seemed like he was about to choke him.

“Where’s the fun in that, dunce hat?”

Branch snarled. “You really are exhausting, you know that?”

“That rhymed! What I said and what you said. In sync besties.” Cloud Guy brought a hand to his own cheek, closing his eyes, and somehow making some very prominent eyelashes appear. “And thank you.”

Well, he was being as irritating as ever, but at least he doesn’t have a crush on Poppy. Oh, wait. Hang on, Branch was getting some thoughts that may or may not be even worse.

“Okay, just...” Branch momentarily considered not asking what he had in mind, but the filter between his mouth and his brain seemed to be lagging today. “Do... Do you have a crush on _me_ , though?” He nearly gagged.

Raising an eyebrow in amusement, Cloud Guy opened his eyes more than his usual half-lidded state. “Well, now. I didn’t think of you as the type to ask that right after I came out-“

“Oh, hush up.” Branch said with a groan. “You spend all day yesterday being touchy with me, saying it’s practice for a girl, and you actually don’t like girls at all, so excuse me for asking!”

Cloud Guy clicked his tongue, then pointed at him. “Fair point, arm joint.”

Branch felt a shudder. Being right never felt so horrifying. “Does that mean...?”

If Cloud Guy did all this instead of just answering the first time he was asked if he had a crush, what was he going to do now? Do the same thing? Would they just keep walking deeper into the forest while Branch explained why they shouldn’t date? Branch felt like throwing up just by thinking about it.

Cloud Guy looked back at him, apparently having zoned out within the last few seconds. “What?” He asked. “Ah. No.”

Branch blinked. “ _No?_ ”

“You mad, notepad? I recommend some good ol’ fashioned soul-searching if you are.”

“Ew.” Branch shook his head quickly. He was especially trying to erase the memory of seein Cloud Guy wiggling his eyebrows right now. “ _EW?!_ No! I’m- I’m not mad at _that_. I mean- I- You just send such mixed signals and you know it.”

“My specialty.”

“And I’ll _never_ be into you, by the way. Not even in your dreams.”

Cloud Guy shrugged. “I’m taken, burnt bacon.”

Pause.

“YOU?! _You’re_ taken?” Branch pointed directly at his cloud face. “S-... Someone, an actual living being, is dating _you_ , _Cloud Guy_?”

Cloud Guy made a small, surprised gasp— It might’ve been fake for all Branch knew. Cloud Guy had a way of making everything he says sound fake... Hm. He brought a hand close to his puffy chest. “Rude.”

“You’re one to talk! And... Ohh.” Branch figured it out. “Oh, you’re just pranking me again. Maybe you really are gay, I can buy that, but you definitely don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Oh, I don’t?”

“I _know_ you don’t! You literally don’t even have a heart!”

“Then why am I on my way to his place since he got out of work?”

Branch laughed. “Nice try, but I know the forest and there isn’t a house this far removed from the village.” He crossed his arms, proud of himself. Cloud Guy wasn’t fooling him again, no poor soul would subject themselves to dating him. That would be a downright punishment.

“Hm.” Cloud Guy reached down and pulled a flower from the ground, immediately fiddling with the petals. “You’re right... His house _is_ in the village, but we took a ‘lil detour.”

“Pfft. Little? We’re miles away from the village.”

“It was for your own good.” Cloud Guy sniffed the flower. “ _I_ wasn’t the one spieling his deepest darkest secrets about just how _pretty_ he thinks a certain pretty pink gal is.”

Branch’s eyes widened, his face heating up.

Oh no.

The Cloud _Gay_ revelation made him forget about all that he was saying before then.

Cloud Guy lightly pulled a petal from his flower. “Wouldn’t want the whole village to find out about _that_ just yet, would we?” He pulled out another petal. “You’re lucky I wasn’t in the middle of the village before walkin’ out here. Imagine if we were dead-set in the center, you just _preaching_ , going on and on about Queen Poppy? _Everyone_ hearing it? When _she_ could’ve been _right there_? Man, that would’ve been your funeral.”

With his face blushing a deep purple, Branch felt his heart was in his throat as Cloud Guy continued speaking, wiggling his flower in the air. “You would’ve had the most kickin’ flowers at the service, though, like this one. This is sick.”

Branch inhaled deeply and loudly, exhaling with a yell:

“ _CLOUD GUY! I’M NOT DYING!”_

“You sort of looked like you were about to, muchacho.”

“ _I’M JUST—“_ Branch paused, inhaling and then exhaling deeply. “Just... forget about everything I said back there, okay? It’s nothing.”

“Eh. I already read oodles of that in your secret journal. _‘Things I admire about Poppy’_ sound familiar?” Cloud Guy casually ate the flower he was holding. “You just did the audiobook adaptation of it.”

Branch groaned, bringing a hand to his flustered, yet annoyed face. To make things worse, Cloud Guy continued speaking, which always made anything worse. “By-the-by, can’t wait for the live-action version of that journal entry.”

“ _Live-action_? Like...” Looking at the cloud’s mischievous expression, Branch grabbed him by the arms, the cloud making a noise like a squeaky toy in the process, and frantically shook him for emphasis as he spoke. “Don’t you _dare_ tell anyone about this!” He shook him more vigorously. “YOU HEAR ME?!”

Cloud Guy remained with his usual calm expression, though his pupils were spinning around in all sorts of ways— due to his eyelids covering half of his eyes, at times it seemed as though he had no pupils, which was horrific. “...It’s obvious anyways.”

“Wh-“ Branch’s eyes shifted. “What is? No it’s not... I-I mean, it’s not _true_ , whatever it is you’re implying.” He shook the cloud again for emphasis. “It’s _not_. Either way, we won’t be telling _anyone._ ”

Getting out of his grip by licking Branch’s arm, Cloud Guy snickered, putting his arms out in defense just in case Branch tried to attack him. “Chillax. I gotta orchestrate before I initiate.”

Branch gave him a look.

“JK! You know what the job of _moi_ is?”

The troll crossed his arms. “Being a clown who wastes time?”

“ _Nooo._ That’s my part-time.“ Cloud Guy placed an arm around Branch, who felt too emotionally drained to swat it away once again. “My main job is to ruin your day. _Just_ your day, shut-away, not your entire life. Therefore, telling the trolls about your little secrets is no bueno, mi amigo... So _un_ tight and out of character, TBH.” A dark blue arm gestured a bit too closely to Branch’s face. “Bluntness? That’s not Cloud Guy-esque. Where’s the flair? _The drama? The pizzazz?!_ ”

Letting that sink in, Branch felt conflicted, to say the least.

But he knew one thing for sure:

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

The cloud grinned, side-hugging him closer. “A lil’ heart-to-heart never hurt nobody.”

“I’m not at all surprised that you think that telling me you want to ruin my day is somehow supposed to comfort me.” Unexpectedly yet thankfully, Branch didn’t need to use much strength to get out of Cloud Guy’s embrace and began walking away. “But that’s enough closure for today. Bye.”

“You sure do like her.” Cloud Guy said.

Branch stopped to think about that. “I’m...” And then he decided that he had been thinking too much for the day. Or at the very least, too much for a Cloud Guy-centric day. All he wanted to do now was isolate himself for the rest of the day, so he spoke without even turning around to face the cloud. “Yeah. I like her...”

He had already spent all day talking about how much he liked Poppy, but there was _something_ about outright saying it that felt nice. In fact, it felt so nice that a stupid, dumb, tiny smile began to form, and it was so stupid and dumb and tiny that he knew better than to let Cloud Guy, of all people, see it.

“Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.” Cloud Guy opened his arms, most likely waiting for a hug that was most definitely not happening. “Love is love and that’s, like, epic.” Branch wasn’t too sure what it was about that sentence that made him cringe, but it just did.

The air of slight friendliness between the two began to rapidly evaporate as their usual vibe settled back in.

Branch sharply turned to face him. “You...”

The cloud pointed at himself. “Me.”

Branch pointed at him. “You could’ve just said that earlier! Just saying ‘Nothing wrong with liking her’ and that’s it! It could’ve saved us SO MUCH time! I didn’t have to rant for so long or follow you out here or learn about your gay stuff or _anything!”_

There was a brief moment in which neither of them spoke, and it almost would’ve felt peaceful to Branch had he not been so irritated.

“...That part near the end of what you just said?” Cloud Guy clicked his tongue. “It came off a _liiitle_ homophobic.” His lips shaped into a disapproving frown as he shook his head.

“You’re gonna keep making comments like that one from now on, aren’t you?” Branch asked, his eye twitching.

“Oh, I will.”

“I don’t know why I even asked.”

“Also, you weren’t the only one who wasted your time, child o’ mine. I could’ve been doing something productive, like sniffing permanent markers.”

Turning around, Branch finally walked away, deciding that this was enough of Cloud Guy for the day. It was enough of Cloud Guy for a lifetime, actually.

At least at the end of this exhausting day, Branch got his doubt cleared up:

Poppy and Cloud Guy will never, ever get married.

 


End file.
